In God's Time

I have so much love in my heart, I love my family, friends and my hubby dearly...except that children used to not fascinate me, in fact they annoy me. I was more inclined to pursue my career, to do well in the world of business, that inspite having met the man of my dreams, the one man I loved the most, I delayed my married plans until I was already in my late twenties. Since I was young, Dad has always taught me to plan everything... when to work, get married and have children. Having married late, I planned to get pregnant right away after we settled down. Not so much because I was finally fond of having kids, but because it was part of the plan.

But God has other plans for me. No matter how we tried, it was simply not happening. We consulted doctor after doctor, specialist after specialist to no avail. 5 years and a miscarriage after, I almost gave up, but my hubby encouraged me to hang on and keep the faith.

After all these years of trying, it suddenly dawned upon me, is my heart ready to love and take care of kids? Late last year, while playing with my niece, I finally saw the beauty, the life, the love, the happiness, an innocent child can give. After spending time with her for a few weeks, unconsciously, my fondness grew into attachment, my attachment into love... that when we were about to leave, I shed a tear.

In that moment, I just knew, God wanted to wait until I was ready. I and hubby conceived our baby a month after. I am on my 20th week now. Though my pregnancy journey took a while, I (and even Dad) painstakingly learned that, there are some things that we really have no control of, no matter how much we try and how hard we plan. In everything, there is a time, a season... Everything happens in God's perfect time.